Who wears a wallet chain?!
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
