If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
