what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
