Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
