remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
