im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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