I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
