In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
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