Duck Duck Cougar?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm having to shit out rocks
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