I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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