At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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