my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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