I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
high people should be assigned attendants
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
YAS. BRING CRAB.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
