he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
