He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He shit in the fireplace
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
