the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
