I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
