I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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