Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I think I sprained my soul last night
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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