I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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