Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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