so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
