She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
