We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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