And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
either way he was missing a nipple.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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