Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
