Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
