I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
