I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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