The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
