That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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