So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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