I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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