Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
