The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
