Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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