kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
