Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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