I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
