the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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