I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
