Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
