38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
