haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
