I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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