Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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