Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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