I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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