I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Sober January is a disaster.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
whose ass print is on the piano?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
