just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
