I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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