i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
